Who am I to talk about Life?
And why?
Everyone who is born wants to know why. Or at least why they go through pain. Everyone is allowed to think about it – we don't have to be someone special to ask why we are here. Or to find out!
We like to be told things — but surely, no-one can really 'tell' us who or what we are. Isn't that something we have to know? Something we have to experience for ourselves.
Christianity would have us agree that we are miserable sinners, doomed unless we turn to God (through Jesus). Hinduism would have us discover that our own personal reality is God! Famous thinkers like Richard Dawkins and Stephen Hawking tell us that both are wrong, that God is a human invention. But their arguments do not tell us how it all started, or more importantly, why. Or what are we made of — only some stuff about chance and quantum probability. But who/what created 'probability'? Who/what created the 'laws of physics'? These big thinkers tell us that God doesn't exist, but all they are actually telling us is that their particular definition of God doesn't exist — which I am sure is true! But that doesn't mean that some fundamental nature of our being (which one could call God or any name you like), doesn't exist. It just means that they have defined God in a particular way, which they can then dispute the existence of. The fact is, anything that can be thought of, including their own mind, must be made of something! So you go back to whatever is the basic 'substance' of which everything is made. The name is not really relevant because that also must be made out of whatever you are naming. The action of naming it is even made out of 'it'.
Scientists require proof of things, but can we call observations like this 'self-evident' because they need no proof – i.e. it is an undeniable experience that we exist, however much we may try to discuss or disprove it. Are you conscious? No physicist has yet defined or explained what consciousness is, but we certainly know we have it when someone stands on our toe!
If I use the conventional word 'God' for whatever 'it' is that everything has existence in, that does not imply any particular belief or faith on my part. I have no allegiance to any faith, though they may have contributed to my understanding. Sanskrit has names for the 'it', including 'Tat' - that! So-called because it is that which cannot be described, because it is beyond the mind's ability to do so. Other common names include the Atma, the divine, the infinite, the IS, the Father, etc. I don't like 'the universe' because there could be many universes of many dimensions and qualities within whatever 'it' is that contains this one. So, for simplicity, we'll say 'God' – but we better drop any ideas of a friendly chap in the sky somewhere, just waiting to answer our prayers - though nothng is excluded!
One thinker tried all his life to include the idea of God in Physics – Einstein. In his famous equation E=mc² he identified that everything is a form of energy: every 'thing' – i.e. every bit of 'matter'. He announced his discovery that energy can change its form but cannot itself be created or destroyed.
These words are virtually a description of the Hindu view that everything is a form of God. And what about Christianity, stating its belief in "one God, maker of heaven and earth and of all things visible and invisible". To put this another way, God's form, or shape, is not only us, but also whatever appears in front of us: whatever we hear, feel and experience. You would expect God to have a pretty interesting shape, wouldn't you? Look around! Don't forget to include consciousness, feelings and experiences.
So if the word 'God' sounds a bit loaded with religious ideas, we could use the word 'Energy'. Who doesn't believe that there is energy? Einstein pointed out that everything (including us) is made of it. It's nice that E=mc² links Energy, Matter and Light. Sounds very hippy, doesn't it? But it is physics fact, tested to the limits of our current ability to observe. The atomic bomb is proof of the theory. And the accuracy needed for space travel has come from the accuracy of Einstein's equations.
Well — returning from science to a human consideration — if we are all made of energy/God, we must, in fact, BE that Energy/God! Hmmmm. Do we FEEL like God? No? Why not, if we truly are? The reason seems to be: it's all because of the mind...
The Mind
The ancient texts of Hinduism state that we ARE God, but also add that we do not think we are. They describe an aspect of God that is called 'Maya', illusion, although delusion is a more accurate word for thinking that the world exists as a separate thing. 'An aspect of God' must therefore mean 'an aspect of myself', if I am entirely made of 'God'. So we are invited to realise that some trick of our own self hides from us the knowledge of our true nature, replacing it with the illusory idea, the dream, of what we think we are — in my case, a man called Ian. But that 'I' has changed — quite a lot in just one lifetime! So what is the 'I' that has persisted through all the changes? I can certainly testify that something that I call myself has indeed done so! Hinduism finally invites us to regain awareness of our true nature, and that choosing any other purpose for our life is — deluded!
What is the nature of Maya, this deception? I think that I am a person called 'Ian', Nicola thinks she is 'Nicola', etc. — but we rarely think that we are God, when in reality we are ONLY God! The key word here is THINK. So ... what is it that thinks? My mind. My mind is writing these words. Your mind is reading these words. So, who am I and who are you?
Our mind is certainly capable of giving us an altered experience of reality – consider alcohol, drugs, dreams – or hypnotism. Each of these changes our perception of who or what we are, because they affect the mind.
So to sum up, I (and you) seem to be blessed with a reality that is God/Energy – but that reality includes a mysterious deluding capacity — experienced by us as a mind.
How curious! Why did I do that? After all, it is MY creation, if I am truly God. Perhaps the answer to 'why' is something very familiar (at least when I am in a good mood): fun! Playing about! But we'll come to that in a moment.
True?
So is all that I have suggested here true??? Has it been tested? It is rather unfamiliar territory for Westerners. But in the East, fortunately, wise people have been exploring the nature of reality for far longer than us babes in the West.
Ancient religions list the names of many wonderful people who have set out to explore the nature of the mind and what is beyond, perhaps hoping to break through to some other reality or place. And the most successful have realised that there is nothing to 'break through' to, and no 'place' to discover. In fact, trying to go anywhere other than where we are, right here and now, is just another activity of a (deluded) mind.
Most religions have a founder. Hinduism is one of the oldest and does not claim a founder — just an accumulation of wisdom. But there are many offspring of Hinduism. Buddhism is a development of Hinduism, exported to countries further East than India. And a further development of Buddhism is Zen Buddhism. A characteristic of Zen Buddhism is sudden and complete understanding taking place in a flash of insight. Such insight can bring instant freedom from old and limiting thoughts; the word liberation is often used, or realisation. Or awareness. Buddhism and Hinduism also provide steady, practical routes to that awareness, such as meditation and yoga; these help the mind develop in order to help it see reality.
But it is OK to see the point immediately – and it is also OK to take time to mull it over. The mind is not the wonderful and mighty thing that we consider it to be in the West but actually the one thing that is blocking us from what we really seek: bliss, peace, love! It has been doing it for a long, long time, so it may not stop very quickly.
However, if our mind sees clearly and totally that it is not wanted, it can become immediately silent, allowing us to experience our true nature instantly. At least for a glimpse; the insight may last for a short while or for a longer time. Earlier in my life, before I came across any of this understanding, I had occasional 'ecstatic' moments that I couldn't explain. I just felt supremely blissful, happy, carefree, for no reason. Christians describe an experience of 'grace', which may be the same thing. If you get that feeling from reading this, stay with it! If not, keep thinking about it. Most likely you will have to train your mind to shut up! There are methods, as I mentioned — and you get encouraging results from the moment you start.
Play?
Let us now look at this in a slightly different way.
There is a Sanskrit word 'leela' that means 'divine play' – God's entertainment of creating the universe and all that's in it. God is having fun both being true Self while simultaneously being many people-selves in a 'universe' – it is just Divine Play. Eternal Play. A totally playful kaleidoscope, tumbling in time for no reason or purpose; and part of it is the fun of rediscovering that the universe is only a kaleidoscope, and not real!
When I first heard these ideas, I felt deep delight — and peace. "Yes!" I thought. An instant and intuitive sense of freedom sprang up, freedom from the tyranny of thinking that I have to achieve something, please someone, pass some test – and the awful fear of failing to do so. All of that pressure — gone! Yay! Nothing to do but BE and PLAY in this dazzling existence. Some people intuitively know this already and are happy.
But then, when we hear bad news, or feel some pain, we think: if this is play, it is not very nice play! It doesn't seem like play when we or others experience pain. It seems an insult to think of the awful misfortunes that befall others as 'play'. We want to throw away the idea as ridiculous nonsense. But consider: when we are feeling good, happy, and in good company, sometimes a surprising activity that we choose is to tell each other stories — of drama, crime, horror even, for fun. And more — if we find them unconvincing, or not very scary, we are disappointed, aren't we?
So is there a case for accepting that the Divine activity is just play? The entertainment is of course God's and we have only small parts in the whole. Reflection suggests that the world adds up to nothing, an interplay of equal and opposites: good and bad, big and small, forward and backward, hot and cold, dark and light, pleasure and pain, fun and misery, success and failure ... is there anything that does not have an opposite? A whole drama that adds up to nothing!! What an extraordinary creation. I think Shakespeare said something about that...
If everything is God, our ups and downs, loves and hates, wins and losses, are all just part of the opposites that ebb and flow as this infinite and indescribable kaleiodoscope. And as Einstein's equation points out, nothing is real except energy ...
Of course, the illusion of life feels very real to us, with pleasure the only goal, and suffering being being a very unacceptable part of life — not 'play' at all. So naturally, the solution to the human problems of why are we here? and why did God create pain and suffering? becomes the great goal of life in this mighty measureless drama of the universe.
So, what to do?
Step back and identify with our reality, not our illusory personality.
How?
The times when life doesn't feel at all like play are when we are immersed in strong thoughts and feelings, sadness, pain, often consequent on pleasure. Our thoughts grow more and more intense. What if we were able to 'think' less? The theory would predict that we would feel less deluded and feel more 'reality', the energy of which we are made, and less of the 'matter'. What would that feel like?
Can we try to find out? Yes. Thoughts are all based on wanting something, or wanting to avoid something. So by stopping wanting things, or trying to avoid things, will we think less? We can try it right now: simply stop wanting anything. Stop wanting anything at all, or avoiding anything at all. That means everything - try wanting ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It's the totality that does the trick, not picking and choosing bits that are 'ok' to want or avoid. I've found I gain immense and surprising peace by stopping wanting anything at all. It may not last very long – thoughts and desires crowd in again pretty quickly – but you can get a brief experience of surprising, satisfying, peace. A hint that the wisdom of the ages may be right!
If we could train ourselves to want nothing at all, what would happen? The biggest problem is that it is not easy to live like that. Our Western culture is all about WANTING, WANTING, WANTING and people think we are weird if we don't want things. But in fact we become better equipped to get what we want when we are at peace, just ding what we see and not actually worrying too much about the result. But it is too easy to slip back; the desires grow again – and we lose the peace.
Difficult and paradoxical. But if any of this is right, we are talking about the supreme goal that anyone can set themself, the highest possible challenge – the final stage of human evolution. Would you expect it to be easy?
But then again – it can be easy – depending, possibly, on how much work you may have put into this during previous lives. There's an amazing life of a great saint in India that you can read about, born in 1879 and living throughout most of the 20th century: Ramana Maharishi. He slipped into the awareness of reality while still a teenager, lying on his bed alone one afternoon; he was wondering what it would feel like to be dead. His concentration was so strong that he quickly experienced the pure energy of which he was made. Over the following weeks, ordinary life became meaningless to him. So he slipped away one day to the foot of a mountain in South India called Arunachala. He remained there all his life, from his teens to a ripe old age, never leaving the mountain, and becoming famous as a great spiritual teacher.
I was lucky enough to discover this clear understanding when I was actually travelling in India for 3 months. I found that the Indian civlisation is much older and wiser than that of the west, despite initial appearances to the contrary. Civilisation has been going on for a long, long time in the East, thousands of years longer than in Europe. I had time to think... and change. I had left London as a money-grabbing 26 year old westerner and came back a meditating vegetarian ... and a lot happier! 45 years later, I've tested my understanding over and over and find no fault or flaw; so I feel able to offer it to you.
OK, enough for now! Plenty to think about. My words here are not proposing any cult, any method, or any product. This is just a chat: a few thoughts and observations from someone who has been on the planet for a while now. I will write more soon... like you, I have so little time to spare! What a crazy life it is in the West. If you can, go to India — and you will find a colourful kaleidoscopic existence there – but behind it, a wonderful stillness and peace.
There is enough on this page to completely change your view of life if you want to think about it. When enough of us think about it, change will begin to take place. "Society changes when individuals change," a great teacher has said.
But change has to happen gently. Don't be in a rush to become a great sage or teacher. The highest calling is to live a good, moral, yet normal life — and even become prosperous — while seeing the reality behind everything that you encounter. That includes yourself — and me!
Final Note
I like to speak plainly. There are many great books and many great teachers. Many also make the 'meaning of life' very complex and daunting.
Well, it may seem daunting, when you start to loosen the hold that the mind has on you... but the basic idea is not complex or daunting — nor even 'secret'. I think that the founders of the great religions probably made it clear and simple. But followers and commentators came along: they love to make themselves important by writing long books 'interpreting' what great men have already stated so simply.
The Bible is wonderful but very complicated. But the start of the Christian creed is not: "I believe in one God, Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible." Perfect! Comprehensive! No escape from every part of you being made by God. And he must have have made everything from himself, if he made absolutely everything. But then it goes and gets all complicated, talking about historical events that may or may not be true and certainly have nothing to do with your reality, here and now. And how can we be 'miserable sinners' when we are made of God! Jesus spoke the simple truth — "I am in you, as you are in me, as we are in the Father" — but his commentators have made it so complicated!
How much more simple can you get than E = mc² ? Energy equivalent to matter and movement. This idea fits all the basic principles of religions and beliefs in one simple stroke. So see if you don't become happier and healthier by practicing 'being' the Energy that you truly are. Want less by seeing that you are already have – already are – all that you thought you wanted! It is that which leads to a moral life, not trying to figure out and remember complicated rules of behaviour.
But let's not get carried away and give up everything because I, or some sage, has told you to! First get the experience of the energy; then that energy, that love, will become your guide. The Buddha may have walked out of his life and gone wandering 'to find himself' — but if suddenly we all did that, it would lead to chaos. There's no need to change your life; it's enough to change the way you see it. The revolution is on the inside, not the outside!
A steady path to a quiet mind is the right method. Many techniques of meditation and yoga exist to help us to quieten our mind and thereby get the glimpse of what lies beyond. I'd love to help and talk more: a book, one day, perhaps. I've certainly glimpsed my own 'pure energy' – but, I have not made that glimpse a permanent state yet: still working on it! But the theory and the confirming glimpses have given me a ground floor, feet on the ground, peace, simply from realising that there is nowhere to go, nothing to become, and the mind and all its babble is not something to take seriously! Troubled feelings slip away when you remember that we are all just energy, made of stars born from a point that expanded into all this over the last 14 billion years, a kaleidoscope of matter and movement, thought and experience, with no direction, no purpose, and no 'test' at the end. There is no 'Day of Judgement' — other than today — though unavoidable consequences of your actions may be in progress! But even then, this wisdom will take away the pain of those consequences.
Simple summary: in time of distress, see what you are wanting, and then stop wanting it. Very helpful in the middle of a sleepless night! You may find it hard to switch off your mind but you can quieten it, just by making it do something pointless, like repeating a peaceful name, or counting slowly "21, 22, 23..." with each breath.
In India they say, "Mind is a mad monkey!" But it slips away quietly if no-one is paying it any attention!
Peace, contentment, love – the feelings that come from a quiet mind – are more important than money, pleasures and ambitions, though it may take a little time to get convinced of that! You could try reading this through again...
Email me if any difficulties. I don't want anyone feeling worse because of anything I have written.
.... last edited 20th Sep 2023. More to come when I find time, if anyone is interested! Contact me if you wish to.
All the best! ... and the 'best' is LOVE!
Ian